2014 is about ending now, begin tomorrow, its only a memory. It would be an understatement to call it an amazing year.
I learned lots of new things, went to new places, most time spent away from family, met a lot of new people, good or bad, a few are here to stay and some taught me valuable lessons and walked away. A few things set my ’14 apart making it a little sweeter, I can’t seem to find words that describe my year to the fullest.
No matter how delicious the cake is, that cherry atop the icing is the sweetest and I’ve got a few cherries on my ’14 that are memories forever.
My friends and family who helped me grow, that stranger who returned my lost wallet, my roomie for all that Maggie and unlimited fun, all the makers and hackers who fixed my ugly code with a lot of patience and put a smile on me, that girl with cute hair, aeroplanes that we thought were spaceships, I scored distinctions and failed exams, cars and boats and love and emotions, put a price on it and the world wouldn’t be able to afford it, because some things just don’t come by the second time.
I’ve got one life, and it’s about time I start living it, my resolutions for ’15 don’t spill anything enlightening, I just want to be happy, make a small bucket list, eat a lot of ice cream, tell her I’ve got crush on her, read a good book, write until I run our of words, party like a bitch and work like a dog.
I owe it to a lot of people for all the good things that happened around me this year, all the good memories and priceless experiences, I’m glad we met, thank you!
Category Archives: Alter Ego
2014 is about ending now, begin tomorrow, its only a memory. It would be an understatement to call it an amazing year.
I don’t want to start this story like, ”Once up on a time there was a boy and a girl, they were best friends and he fell in love with her hair and whatnot”. I’ll save the drama for another time. This is not about her hair, nor so much about her for that matter. It’s about me. I got to bed hours after midnight and this happens everyday. Occasionally, I wake up broken into pieces, mind out-of-place and everything feels bland as air. I see no shine in the sunlight, no harmony in music, no reasonable thoughts in my mind; a lot of questions, but very few answers. Its one of those days I just want to fast forward in my record of life, a day that portrays your pleasant past to just be a mere hollow dream you deceived yourself with. A past that feels too good to be true, maybe it was one of my gloomy day fantasies. I do not know, I cannot figure it out.
I’m a firm believer in the supremacy of time and how little changes in actions at the smallest instant would have changed your life by a lot in retrospect. The chain of events in life look so complex in order and seem so precise that it almost feels like a perfectly prepped and executed plan, how I met her. I’m not a very attentive person when it comes to catching random details, it takes a bit of authenticity in something if I have to take note of it. But she, she had, incomparably, the most beautiful hair that day when I first saw her. So right in form, running down her pretty face that is so genuinely beautiful, I just had to keep looking at her to feel alive.
I can’t tell what it really is, I can only tell what it feels like. That one time in your life, you meet that one other person whom you awaited tirelessly, sketching an unconscious personality and sinking all the beautiful feelings into that character. It almost feels like you’re daydreaming when you meet that real life personification of your brain speck. How I subtly stalked her, never missed the smallest glimpse I could catch of her, the incredibly good feeling of wanting to run my fingers through her beautiful lock of hair. Those dreams, that feel so good, that leave you lost and scrambling for love, you don’t want to be alone anymore, you just don’t know what to do. She’s like that intriguing star in the sky that you want to touch, I want her.
Not just looking down ’12, but looking down my life from since I can remember, I see me struggling hard to be who I want to be. I’ve committed a lot of mistakes and bad decisions, a few good and life changing ones; I learned something from all of them. I’ve met a lot of people and a few of those passersby stayed, some left sooner and some came back later. I’ve suffered a few heartbreaks and savored a few happy moments. If you were given a chance to remake your life, you’d probably pick all your best times and overwrite your life with it. If you were given a chance to replace one person among all the people in your life, you’d probably pick the best qualities of all the people you know and make one very special person out of it. As impossible as that sounds, you are only a thought away from living such a paradoxical life; I sort of made it happen, it’s just, I learned to appreciate what I had, loved the people who stopped by. I’ve lost it sometimes, but I’ve had it most of the time. It’s been like this for a while; 15 years to be precise. I never waited for the end of a year and the beginning of a new one to take up a resolution, to ink my feelings in a diary, to think it’s a new beginning, to feel a difference or to make a difference. I guess, you just need to make it count, don’t fish for excuses, make it a little happy, a little sad, a bit interesting, a bit boring, be rational, irrationality for a change is alright, tidy is good, messy is sometimes better, keep it simple, complicate it if needed, walk down an empty road, flute through a crouded street, try a lemon, then some lemonade, smile simply, frown painfully, laugh loudly, cry quietly, make friends, learn to let go, first love yourself, then share it with someone unconditionally, admire the beauty, don’t dig for ugliness, appreciate if you can, never insult even if you’re best at it, make more mistakes, learn the most from it, take a few calculated risks, learn to accept defeat, break a few bones, they will grow back stronger. A little bit of everything makes a very sweet cherry atop the scoop. I hope, or rather, I know ’13 will make the cherry a little sweeter and the scoop a little bigger. Happy New Year to you, make 2013 an awesome one!
I’m a 19-year-old college-going teenager and I’m not any typical one. I’m at the peak of my educational life; or that’s how I feel. A college student needs a good amount of dedication towards learning and making his education worth the effort. Because, it’s these actions that mostly dictate their future. Of course, college education does not necessarily have to make your life awesome. But since, most of us lack (or don’t bother to wake up) that piece of mind which made Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg what they are today, we’ll have to walk through the same dirty gangway that most of the others amongst us choose; it’s the only option we have, mostly.
I hate the way people think going to school/college makes one smart and respectable. Well, what can I say? Roughly 700,000 students graduate from engineering all over India every year. That’s right, seven lakh engineers with wrong mindsets are produced every year in India and not all are software/computer engineers who work for the IT industry, majority of all kinds of engineering graduates end up working for the IT sector inevitably and eventually. Certainly doesn’t motivate me to respect them for sheep-herding their way with the crowd.
As a matter of fact, I myself aspire to be an engineer, although, I now feel ashamed to call myself a wannabe engineer. I’ll just say I want to be a classy artist who wants to make people’s life easy to live– if you’re not a part of the herd, you’ll understand what I just said.
After everything we spoke today, about infatuation, true love and all those compelling topics, I was thinking through it just now and I realized nothing really lasts, you just have to try and make it last as long as you can and get over with it when it’s all done. Nothing really has a chance to last as long as we expect it to, not in this unpredictable world where our lives are affected even by small changes in our surroundings and the smallest in your minds, where feelings for a person are swapped like sim cards in mobile phones. Where wrappers are eaten and the chocolate’s thrown away. Where butterflies are judged as moths. Where pigs are given wings and unicorns slaughter for dinner meals. Where no man cares for a soul that’s being strangled, but everyone wants to be a hero. They’re unforgiving, unsuspecting, dominating, cold as steel and quiet as a whisper. I’m just gonna have to live this for now, untill I’m with you, untill you’re with me, untill I’m struck by lightning or kissed by a viper or just plain upset by deception, this is all I have and I’m gonna learn to appreciate it as much as it drives me to complain. I’ll drop forge my heart, prepare to take the beating, learn to deal with a heartbreak; I won’t give up on you just yet. But, I’ll be waiting for you to get there and when you do come up to me to cut off the strings that kept us together, my endeavor would pay off, I’ll just drop a tear to mark the moment and start walking again. Just to let you know, when it’s all over, it won’t be worth it for either of us to go through this mental apocalypse.
But for now, You are my only Hope to survive this grand chaos.
Spinning tops, what do they mean to you? Most of us think they’re toys, which they in fact are, but I see more in these simple spinning contraptions than what they seem. If you have the mind for it, you’ll see an entire life story in these relatively cheap toys. Right now, you’re probably thinking I’m some weird geek trying to explain the physics behind these toys in a horribly poetic attempt. well, my lab coat’s off to laundry today.
I woke up in the morning and was drinking some coffee to kick-start my day as I was spinning a wooden top that I got from my recent visit to Mysore. To me, it’s an interesting sight to see a top spin, all those thoughts that run through my head as I see it go round and round on its tip. If you gave your rational mind a break, it almost seems magical how it stays upright, spinning and that’s an intriguing feeling. Why else would I have come back with only wooden tops traveling nearly 300 kilometers? Anyway, here’s what went down with that fading cup of coffee…
I gave it a good swirl with my index and thumb holding the stem and got it spinning, just like our parents hold our hands while we cross the road, help us grow up, shows us what the world around us; so later in life, we can take care of ourselves.
I see it trembling to stabilize, initially. It’s all over the coffee table. Just like how we struggle to deal with the world as we grow up, the innumerable wrong decisions and mistakes we commit out of naivety and all the suffering that comes along.
Then I see it giving it all the energy it’s got to stand tall, keep spinning and hold it steady, not a shake, calm as a sniper. It’s still a hair away from falling apart, but it’s learned to control the situation, most importantly. Just like how we gain experience as we grow older and learn to handle things better. Eventually, we will get to our deserved destinations. But, what’s important is to keeping trying and giving it everything you can. You’ll be surprised to see what you can achieve with persistence and determination, just to echo all the successful people out there.
Now I see the top slowly losing its energy to the mighty forces of physics which can’t be tamed even by the men who discovered them. I see it slowing down, wobbling, lost of pace, it’s struggling hard to keep it’s balance, it’s going to collapse, I knew it and it did. Just like how all of us go from little playful kids to stupid adolescents and then learn from our pasts to become young responsible men and women with dreams to achieve and by the time we are done living the kind of life we hoped to, we’re already old, probably too old to even keep ourselves standing on our own feet; and eventually, we have to face death losing it to the might laws of nature which can’t be rewritten even by the philosophers who nurtured and adored it.
It’s not just a spinning top, it’s a life story.
From where I come, a genuine smile make a few hearts feel warm and a cozy hug sets off butterflies in the tummy. I can see kids chasing dragonflies and men discussing local politics like a panel of kingmakers. But, looks can be deceiving, never judge a book by it’s cover or a girl by her skinny jeans or a guy by his mohawk. With that said, I’m done with the laughable lecture.
Coming to the point, for all we know and all that we get to know along the course of our priceless lifetimes, do we live the best life we can and do we make the best decisions? It doesn’t matter if it’s a life changing spell that goes down the wand or choosing between a bottle opener and your belly button to open the beer. Read on…
It’s a sunny afternoon and I am walking down this pavement that I think will take me to the café at the end of this road. I’m flipping a coin as I walk down this nearly shattered pathway which is puzzling to walk over and I hit heads for the sixth time in a row; isn’t that so cool!? now who would believe that?
Okay, Why do you have to believe that and Why do I have to make you believe that? What is the big achievement in getting someone to believe that I just tossed a coin and it landed heads up for the sixth time in a row?
It’s just utter rubbish for all the effort I put into it, nobody is going to award me with the Nobel Coin Toss Prize or some shit like that. Yet, most of us are persistent about such things more often than not, we feel uneasy when someone doesn’t believe us over even such petty issues. Right there, you just complicated your life to the highest grade possible with a very small matter. If something like a coin toss freakishness, that’s more random and coincidental, than being anything ‘extremely extraordinary’ can occupy your mind so strongly and obsessively, it’s sad. Real sad. If you think I’m exaggerating this situation, trust me, you have to experience this for real to know its legitimacy.
Obviously, all this is got to do with our psychological state of mind which is really a work of art, certainly not running on the innovative Windows 8, which makes it a little not-so-user-friendly and to make it worse, there is no user manual either. So how do we learn to deal with things with minimum complications?
One way is through your own experiences or others’ experiences. Get yourself the superior knowledge, learn from everything you possibly can, get to its root if you can. But what point are you making by knowing everything you possibly can, like how geometrically correct the Egyptian pyramids are or how annoying your neighbour is or what the gestation period of a cow is? If you don’t know how and where to use your knowledge and lack that crucial bit called ‘common sense’, you are just a I-know-it-all dummy, honey. To use your knowledge, you have to be capable of understanding and judging the status of a situation; like for example, when you are asked to prepare a sweet liquid, you definitely have various choices to choose from, but depending on the status of your task, you can start with water and household sugar; or you can go formulate a goddamn sweeter-than-sugar substance and a more-noble-than-water liquid to complicate your life down to electronic circuitry levels. Sometimes, situations arise where you have to formulate a goddamn sweeter-than-sugar… Blah blah, but there too, you cannot expect to turn salt into sugar– which is what most of us try to do in all our priceless, irreversible and limited lifetimes, until it’s too late and when we are dying, there appears the magical light of realization that says you cannot turn salt into sugar. So how on mother earth do we even live this life without unnecessary complications? For starters, add simplicity to your priority list and practice smart thinking (or find out Steve Jobs’ secret formula for the iPhone) so that your very first instincts tells you to go about it in a simple and smart way; from there you can explore your other options depending on the status of the situation. For example, you are walking down this cold and dark road and suddenly you are confronted by a bully or a thug, so what do you do? You can either flashback to Batman The Dark Knight, dream about you teaching that thug a lesson of his lifetime and get knocked out cold before you got to the part where you make tomorrow’s headlines as a hero; or you can be smart and think about ways to make a quick escape. Self defence is not always about knowing to counter strike, it’s about knowing to protect yourself without unwanted trouble. Run if you can, I know ‘running away’ is a bit of an issue with a man’s pride. But, do you really think your pride is worth getting beat up on a cold night? What if you get killed? What if you try something ridiculous and find out the mugger has more company for you?
If you can, swallow your pride and give it a run or if you decide to give up your possessions, save the undergarments and walk back home! Besides all this, you aren’t losing your pride humiliated in front of a nation of heros, he’s just a lowlife thug!
Most of you must be wondering why you never would have thought of what I just said, well, its got to do with our misled society where practicing bullshit is considered as a classy form of art. People love to see you bury yourself like an idiot. For example, all nations of this mighty mother earth work their asses off and spend the money they don’t have, to make sure they have the best army of innocent people they call ‘soldires’ who are deceived in the name of patriotism; Not one invests in commissioning an effective peacemaking body in their beloved country; instead, Our governments feed, brainwash and train these soldires to fight a war that isn’t theirs and later the nation mourns for their death and blames someone else for the same; and the worst part, those soldiers have families and just like all of us, they want to live a happy life too, but many don’t even get proper food or protection while at war. you may think wars aren’t that simple to prevent, but in reality, wars are initiated by misunderstandings between a bunch of hipocrites sitting in a room whose sole job is to interprete what might be a friendly compliment as a potential threat.
This is about complicating lives of people on a major scale, something we don’t need.
The other week, I was having some fun with my cousin trying to teach my baby niece to talk. After a number of miserably failed attempts at getting the stubborn little girl to speak a few word, I came up with a modestly fair idea. I told my cousin ”you know how they train dogs? Like so, if you give the baby a candy evertime she speaks, it’d be a little encouraging!” oh boy, did I invite trouble by saying that? My dimwitted cousin immediately jumped into not-intended conclusions, ”OMG! How could you compare the baby to a dog?!! You are so mean… Blah blah”
I sometimes seriously wonder if some people react to something or just blindly act. They probably forget to hear before they think and to think before they react. Clearly, in the above scenario, I didn’t compare the baby to a dog. Even so, what’s with the ”DOG!?!!” it’s just a dog; it’s made of the same flesh, blood and bone like a baby. It pees wherever it wants to like a baby. You have to take care of them like a baby. They love milk like a baby. You have to take them out on a walk like a baby. They can be a real pain in the ass like a baby. Ugh! For all that I just said, in reality, I only brought up the idea of how they train dog and how effective it is and for that, I had to go through this much of major and unnecessary B.S. Not to mention about justifying my saying in faint irrational guilt. Way to go, my life can’t be more scandalous.
The above were just a few of the innumerable misconceptions and misinterpretations that people commit out of sheer self-taught stupidity and the irresistible urge to complicate theirs and other people’s lives for no apparent reason. We very well don’t deserve this atrocious lifestyle, there’s a lot we are missing out and we aren’t still lost in the stone age, it’s been a long long time since the wheel was invented and the fire was discovered. So lets atleast try to act like we have made some sensible development besides figuring out ways to sell cheap smartphones and teblet PCs for the highest prices. All this time, I didn’t know what ‘get a life’ really meant. But now I say, it’s time to get a life and in the process, please spare mine.