Everyday, I wake up from a night I spend thinking about her, looking at her picture; I zoom in and out untill it revealed the tiny pixels that make her up. It’s an illusion, I figured. An illusion I’m falling for, falling hard, falling and failing to get out of. But what should I do, she’s just so much to me. Everyday, I convince myself into false hope that she might return my calls or mails. Well, that’s how I delude myself, like I don’t know that she’s gone and gone forever, as it seems. I may be just another guy she was with, some guy she fancied for a while and no more than a while she spent putting on her mascara. But again, who knows? Maybe she really wanted me, as much as she wanted those sea green diamonds that matched her eyes perfectly. I don’t know, I don’t need to know. whatever it is, the truth or anything; I have seen it and understood. Sometimes, life may feel like a cold night on the pavement, the chill of misfortune, as they see it; or a perfect living, wine and dine in a Victorian mansion. But no, all that is either an illusion or a delusion.
The reality is there is no god or gods, there are no morals, no emotions, everything we know has no base, it is what we have defined to ourselves. Everything is manmade, so make it your own and make it well. Stop finding yourself and start making yourself. If anybody looks upon you with indifference, just try to ignore them and keep walking, if it tempts, then take a swing at’em.
Loneliness is seen as a disease, a curse and much more. But, we are all alone, born alone and die alone. Damn those love songs and romance stories that hype your expectations, someday when we will look back on our lives and realize that in spite of the company we had, we were all alone the entire day. You cannot live this life if you have to look into others’ hearts for your happiness. You are the only person there is for you, live for you, love you, dream about you, die for you; give yourself what you deserve.
You have to, in anyway deal with your nature of living. Before you grow up, you must fall in love three times; Once, you must fall in love with a player, this will show you the unpleasant side of the greatest human emotion, love.
Once you must fall in love with someone you think is perfect, this will teach you that nobody is perfect.
Once you must fall in love with your best friend and ruin your friendship forever, this will teach you that there is a fine line between friendship and more.
When you are through all this, you’ll learn that the ones who care about you are the ones who hurt you and the ones who hurt you are the ones you need the most. Now, ask yourself if it’s worth it? Your answer maybe different from mine, love is something that doesn’t have a textbook definition other than the fact that it’s a human emotion which has had complicated evolutionary changes and so it’s different to to each person who experiences it. when you finally grow up, you will learn to respect each every person in the world and not judge them by thier weakness; afterall, you know that everyone only wants to be loved.
I’m done now; my shackles are off, it’s time for me to grow up and I’m not going to live my life for anyone else but myself.
Before me lies a great stretch of road and it’s windswept, or blasted by the hot sun, or covered in snow, or it’s dirt or asphalt, or shrouded in the dark or bright, or shadows that follow you; no matter what, it feels utterly empty. But get this, there are men who have lost wives, mothers who have lost sons and they are still living; I don’t say they sleep their nights on fulfilled beds, but they have more than just survived this great stretch of road that I’m about to walk. It takes a long while to realize that life goes on no matter what, but trust me it’s worth the while. You are the Picasso of your life; you might splash the paint all over yourself and make a mess, but it is about what’s on the canvas that matters. Live your life for real, just don’t make it an excuse to pass your time untill you die because you are here for now and for all you know, this is all you’ve got.