Our Scandalous Lives


From where I come, a genuine smile make a few hearts feel warm and a cozy hug sets off butterflies in the tummy. I can see kids chasing dragonflies and men discussing local politics like a panel of kingmakers. But, looks can be deceiving, never judge a book by it’s cover or a girl by her skinny jeans or a guy by his mohawk. With that said, I’m done with the laughable lecture.
Coming to the point, for all we know and all that we get to know along the course of our priceless lifetimes, do we live the best life we can and do we make the best decisions? It doesn’t matter if it’s a life changing spell that goes down the wand or choosing between a bottle opener and your belly button to open the beer. Read on…

It’s a sunny afternoon and I am walking down this pavement that I think will take me to the café at the end of this road. I’m flipping a coin as I walk down this nearly shattered pathway which is puzzling to walk over and I hit heads for the sixth time in a row; isn’t that so cool!? now who would believe that?
Okay, Why do you have to believe that and Why do I have to make you believe that? What is the big achievement in getting someone to believe that I just tossed a coin and it landed heads up for the sixth time in a row?
It’s just utter rubbish for all the effort I put into it, nobody is going to award me with the Nobel Coin Toss Prize or some shit like that. Yet, most of us are persistent about such things more often than not, we feel uneasy when someone doesn’t believe us over even such petty issues. Right there, you just complicated your life to the highest grade possible with a very small matter. If something like a coin toss freakishness, that’s more random and coincidental, than being anything ‘extremely extraordinary’ can occupy your mind so strongly and obsessively, it’s sad. Real sad. If you think I’m exaggerating this situation, trust me, you have to experience this for real to know its legitimacy.
Obviously, all this is got to do with our psychological state of mind which is really a work of art, certainly not running on the innovative Windows 8, which makes it a little not-so-user-friendly and to make it worse, there is no user manual either. So how do we learn to deal with things with minimum complications?
One way is through your own experiences or others’ experiences. Get yourself the superior knowledge, learn from everything you possibly can, get to its root if you can. But what point are you making by knowing everything you possibly can, like how geometrically correct the Egyptian pyramids are or how annoying your neighbour is or what the gestation period of a cow is? If you don’t know how and where to use your knowledge and lack that crucial bit called ‘common sense’, you are just a I-know-it-all dummy, honey. To use your knowledge, you have to be capable of understanding and judging the status of a situation; like for example, when you are asked to prepare a sweet liquid, you definitely have various choices to choose from, but depending on the status of your task, you can start with water and household sugar; or you can go formulate a goddamn sweeter-than-sugar substance and a more-noble-than-water liquid to complicate your life down to electronic circuitry levels. Sometimes, situations arise where you have to formulate a goddamn sweeter-than-sugar… Blah blah, but there too, you cannot expect to turn salt into sugar– which is what most of us try to do in all our priceless, irreversible and limited lifetimes, until it’s too late and when we are dying, there appears the magical light of realization that says you cannot turn salt into sugar. So how on mother earth do we even live this life without unnecessary complications? For starters, add simplicity to your priority list and practice smart thinking (or find out Steve Jobs’ secret formula for the iPhone) so that your very first instincts tells you to go about it in a simple and smart way; from there you can explore your other options depending on the status of the situation. For example, you are walking down this cold and dark road and suddenly you are confronted by a bully or a thug, so what do you do? You can either flashback to Batman The Dark Knight, dream about you teaching that thug a lesson of his lifetime and get knocked out cold before you got to the part where you make tomorrow’s headlines as a hero; or you can be smart and think about ways to make a quick escape. Self defence is not always about knowing to counter strike, it’s about knowing to protect yourself without unwanted trouble. Run if you can, I know ‘running away’ is a bit of an issue with a man’s pride. But, do you really think your pride is worth getting beat up on a cold night? What if you get killed? What if you try something ridiculous and find out the mugger has more company for you?
If you can, swallow your pride and give it a run or if you decide to give up your possessions, save the undergarments and walk back home! Besides all this, you aren’t losing your pride humiliated in front of a nation of heros, he’s just a lowlife thug!
Most of you must be wondering why you never would have thought of what I just said, well, its got to do with our misled society where practicing bullshit is considered as a classy form of art. People love to see you bury yourself like an idiot. For example, all nations of this mighty mother earth work their asses off and spend the money they don’t have, to make sure they have the best army of innocent people they call ‘soldires’ who are deceived in the name of patriotism; Not one invests in commissioning an effective peacemaking body in their beloved country; instead, Our governments feed, brainwash and train these soldires to fight a war that isn’t theirs and later the nation mourns for their death and blames someone else for the same; and the worst part, those soldiers have families and just like all of us, they want to live a happy life too, but many don’t even get proper food or protection while at war. you may think wars aren’t that simple to prevent, but in reality, wars are initiated by misunderstandings between a bunch of hipocrites sitting in a room whose sole job is to interprete what might be a friendly compliment as a potential threat.

This is about complicating lives of people on a major scale, something we don’t need.

The other week, I was having some fun with my cousin trying to teach my baby niece to talk. After a number of miserably failed attempts at getting the stubborn little girl to speak a few word, I came up with a modestly fair idea. I told my cousin ”you know how they train dogs? Like so, if you give the baby a candy evertime she speaks, it’d be a little encouraging!” oh boy, did I invite trouble by saying that? My dimwitted cousin immediately jumped into not-intended conclusions, ”OMG! How could you compare the baby to a dog?!! You are so mean… Blah blah”
I sometimes seriously wonder if some people react to something or just blindly act. They probably forget to hear before they think and to think before they react. Clearly, in the above scenario, I didn’t compare the baby to a dog. Even so, what’s with the ”DOG!?!!” it’s just a dog; it’s made of the same flesh, blood and bone like a baby. It pees wherever it wants to like a baby. You have to take care of them like a baby. They love milk like a baby. You have to take them out on a walk like a baby. They can be a real pain in the ass like a baby. Ugh! For all that I just said, in reality, I only brought up the idea of how they train dog and how effective it is and for that, I had to go through this much of major and unnecessary B.S. Not to mention about justifying my saying in faint irrational guilt. Way to go, my life can’t be more scandalous.

The above were just a few of the innumerable misconceptions and misinterpretations that people commit out of sheer self-taught stupidity and the irresistible urge to complicate theirs and other people’s lives for no apparent reason. We very well don’t deserve this atrocious lifestyle, there’s a lot we are missing out and we aren’t still lost in the stone age, it’s been a long long time since the wheel was invented and the fire was discovered. So lets atleast try to act like we have made some sensible development besides figuring out ways to sell cheap smartphones and teblet PCs for the highest prices. All this time, I didn’t know what ‘get a life’ really meant. But now I say, it’s time to get a life and in the process, please spare mine.
Anjan Babu


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